Wednesday, September 06, 2006
Movie Review: GIALLO A VENEZIA
GIALLO A VENEZIA (1979)
Skillfully directed by Mario Landi (1980's Patrick Is Still Alive), GIALLO A VENEZIA is one motherfucker of a sleazefest. A tale of matrimonially enhanced sexual deviance and grisly gruesome murder. Sex & Death-- life in a nutshell.
I have an Italian language import, so I've nary a clue as to what anyone is saying 99% of the time, but following the storyline was easy enough. It comes down to one act of depravity after another; beginning at the end, slipping periodically out of the present and into the past, and satisfyingly wrapping up all the loose ends well enough at the film's conclusion.
The moral of this story... "NO means NO."
Here's a brief look at the menu this evening:
»1 pair of mirrored sunglasses
»Several pairs of tight white cotton pants for mens
»A detective with a bad boiled egg habit
»Multiple acts of coerced perversion
»2 accounts of up-close, severe crotch stabbings with a pair of scissors
»1 man shot, kicked while he's down, and then SET ON FIRE
»1 woman suffering an intense slap attack by an intruder, being tied to her kitchen table, and having her leg slowly sawed off in lingering detail. She passes out from the pain, but when our killer finishes with her leg HE SMACKS HER UNTIL SHE WAKES UP so she can start screaming again
»Bushels of pubic hair
»Rivers of gore
»And a very impractical wall calendar
I ask you, what's not to love?
The inaugural slogan for Italy's Cinecittà film studios sums up the experience well: "Il cinema è l'arma più forte" (Cinema is the most powerful weapon).
If you don't feel the need for a couple of showers after this one, you might wanna go ahead and crawl in that crematory before you start prank-calling for more cops.
Review by Scott Wallis!