Monday, February 26, 2007

Remakesploitation!

An essay by The Undead Film Critic!

American cinemas are currently overrun with remakes. You have your big budget summer blockbuster remakes, your remakes of low budget cult horror films that are dumbed down to get a PG-13 rating and you have your nostalgic U.S. television show remakes. Sometimes you may not even be aware that the film you're watching is a remake. I doubt most of the people suckered into wasting their money to see The Lake House were aware that it was a remake of a 2000 South Korean picture (Siworae, directed by Hyun-seung Lee). While most American remakes are dull, predictable & unnecessary, it's a completely different story overseas. Countries like Italy and Turkey made numerous homage pictures in the 70's and 80's that often remained familiar to their source material, but would then branch out to incorporate local characters and traditions, making for an uncommon and often insane final result.

Obviously, any film that was a commercial success in the U.S. was ripe for the picking for foreign producers. Some films, such as Paul Verhoeven's Robocop, spawned several different remakes - Nu Ji Xie Ren (Robotrix), Full Metal Gokudô (Full Metal Yakuza), Robo Vampire - most of which would take the most memorable aspects & visuals of a hit film and incorporate them into a picture that would appeal more to its regional audience. I have always found this type of picture to be much more fascinating than those films that are remade, scene by scene. The pinnacle of these type of foreign remakes I like to call remakesploitation pictures. If Blacksploitation movies exploit black culture & stereotypes and Sexploitation movies exploit...well sex, then a remakesploitaion movie is one that exploits characters, plot points, and scenes from several different films - usually of the same genre - and crams them all together to create a truly mesmerizing viewing experience. There are several different ways that these pictures have been made. I have narrowed the list down to a few of my favorites, to give a better understanding of these unique foreign films.



A remake will often start with the setting or premise of one film as a stepping stone that will then lead into the plot of another. Such is the case with 2019 - Dopo la caduta di New York (2019: After the Fall of New York). Made in 1983 by Sergio Martino, this French-Italian co-production starts off very much as an imitation of George Miller's The Road Warrior. Parsifal, played by Michael Sopkiw, is a Snake Plissken/Mad Max clone who enters a Death Race, in which the victor will receive license to kill tokens (they are like "get out of jail free card" but for killing people) and a somewhat clean female. The automotive duel takes place in a rocky & barren post-apocalyptic setting where tricked out demolition cars collide into one another to the death. The competition is cheered on by a group of outcast mutants, all of whom are dressed as if they just left a Siouxsie and The Banshees concert. After winning the match and collecting his winnings, Parsifal is ambushed on the road by a helicopter and is drugged and taken to a military base in Alaska. From this point, the film drives head on into a rip-off of John Carpenter's Escape from New York, which, like Warrior, was a popular sci-fi film from 1981. However, unlike Escape from NY, the lead character does not enter the Big Apple to retrieve a stranded U.S. president. Instead, his mission is to locate a woman. In 2019, no children have been born for over 15 years. Parsifal has been chosen to enter a decaying New York to locate the last fertile woman and extract her from the volatile city. If you have seen Alfonso Cuarón's Children of Men, this may seem more than a little familiar. In Children of Men, Clive Owen is chosen by Julianne Moore to do the exact same thing. While the first 20 minutes of 2019 set a tone familiar to the post-apocalyptic desperation of Miller's Mad Max films, the rest of the movie strays little from the blueprint set in Carpenter's Escape.



Some remakes take the framework of a previous film and then inject a character from a different film altogether, combining the best of two worlds. In Xing Xing Wang (The Mighty Peking Man), an expedition is sent into the Himalayas to verify the existence of a 50-foot ape creature. After enduring an elephant stampede and being abandoned by his guides, the expedition leader Johnnie Fang (played by Danny Lee) finds and captures the colossal primate. Brought by boat to Hong Kong, the beast is put on display where he inevitability breaks free of his shackles, and begins to rampage through the city. After stepping on people, crushing cars and destroying apartment buildings, the ape-man eventually meets his demise, falling to his death from the top of a large building. Made in 1977 by the Shaw Brothers in Hong Kong, Xing Xing Wang was an obvious attempt to cash in on the success and long lasting appeal of King Kong (1933). What makes this more than your average remake however, is that the Fay Wray character is not portrayed as a helpless beauty brought into the jungle to tempt and tame the beast. Instead Ah Wei, played by Evelyne Kraft, is a jungle woman who talks to animals, lives in a cave and frolics in the grass with her pet jaguar. Through flashbacks we learn that she was stranded in the jungle, orphaned after the small plane her family was flying crashed over the Indian mountains. Raised by the Peking Man, she has learned to communicate with the jungle animals and can often be seen swinging on vines, wearing a whisper of an animal skin bikini that constantly teases you with quick glimpses of her left nipple. By combining the character of Tarzan with the plot points of Kong, the brothers Shaw were able to capitalize on two well-known cinematic mythologies. The film is a tremendous amount of fun, filled with impressive miniature set pieces, sexy forbidden jungle love and an overall swagger that screams late 1970's.



Sometimes the idea to capitalize on a successful Hollywood film can cross over from remake into blatant theft. Dünyayi kurtaran adam also known as The Man Who Saves the World, is probably most familiar to cult film fans as Turkish Star Wars. Turkey has produced a number of revered rip-offs, most of which were made in the 70's and early 80's. While Turkish films such as Seytan (Turkish Exorcist) and Badi (Turkish E.T.) are often scene-for-scene remakes, Dünyayi kurtaran adam just flat out steals several scenes from Star Wars IV: A New Hope and uses them to up its production value. Footage of X-Wings and TIE fighters engaged in dogfights around the Death Star, along with random creatures from the Mos Eisley cantina are intercut throughout Dünyayi kurtaran adam's bizarre story, often in ways that in no way relate to the plot. If there is a plot. Murat, played by Turkish superstar Cüneyt Arkin, and Ali, played by Aytekin Akkaya, crash on earth just in time to battle an evil warlord who looks like the lovechild of Ming the Merciless & Liberace. A narrator tries to tie the film's random scenes together, but I don't think anyone who has ever watched this film paid very close attention to the story itself. Filled with the lowest of the low budget special effects - a ravenous red-furred monster that looks like it grew from the nightmares of Sid and Marty Krofft, and gold medal winning trampoline use - Turkish Star Wars has some of the weirdest visuals put to celluloid.

Director Çetin Inanç was not satisfied by only stealing moving images. Dünyayi kurtaran adam's soundtrack is a patchwork of scores lifted from a number of different adventure and sci-fi films from Hollywood. Raiders of the Lost Ark, Planet of the Apes and Flash Gordon are but a few of the films whose musical accompaniment was taken to enhance the already epically bizarre tale of The Man Who Saves The World.



India is by far no stranger to remakes. There is not a genre of film that India won't pay homage to. And unlike many other countries, India has its eyes open to the cinema of the world, choosing to not only remake Hollywood films, but any film that has proven to be popular. 100 Days, made in 1991 by Parto Ghosh, is a remake of Lucio Fulci's Sette Notte in Nero (The Psychic). Zinda (2006) is a virtual scene-by-scene remake of Chan-wook Park's Oldboy. Despite its topic or origins, no film is safe from being remade in Bollywood.

Naina is a supernatural thriller made in 2005 by Shripal Morakhia. In Naina the lovely Urmila Matondkar plays the title role of a young woman who undergoes a cornea transplant to replace the sense of sight that she lost as a child in a tragic car accident. As her new peepers adjust to their surroundings, it becomes evident that she can see both the dead and the hazy black reapers that come to escort the dead to the other side. This new ability allows her to foretell an individual's encroaching death. Along with her surgeon/love interest, she journeys to a small Indian village to find out more information about her eye donor, who may have had similar premonitions.

The movie is a beat for beat remake of Oxide & Danny Pang's Gin gwai (The Eye), but within the framework of that film, the makers of Naina have also stuffed in several scenes and plot points from other Asian horror films. The film becomes almost like a Where's Waldo of recent Asian Horror hits, as you can pick exact scenes and characters stolen from different Asian films throughout the film. The little girl in the yellow raincoat who drowns in the waterwell on top of her apartment building from Hideo Nakatas' Honogurai mizu no soko kara (Dark Water). The black cat that leads the main character to a closet where a scary dead girl with long black hair is curled up in the corner is taken from Takashi Shimizu's Ju-on. The autopsy room with the waking corpse whose chest cavity is open wide is from Jôji Iida's Rasen. Hints of M. Night Shyamalan's The Sixth Sense can be felt as well, in scenes that have ghastly apparitions of men hanging from nooses in a upscale restaurant and creepy bugged-eyed dead people hiding under the dinner tables.



And there are numerous recent Bollywood pictures just as packed as Naina. Mujhse Shaadi Karogi (2004) combines elements from Hollywood comedies such as Meet the Parents (2000) & Anger Management (2003). Baadshah (1999) follows the basic plot of the Johnny Depp thriller Nick of Time but includes scenes from Rush Hour and Jim Carrey's The Mask. It's these kind of cut and paste films that truly embrace and define the idea of a remakesploitation picture.

Hollywood, it's time to wake up. It's no longer sufficient to just simply remake a film that turned a buck several years ago. The only thing that comes close to a remakesploitation picture in Hollywood these days would be the recent deluge of Spoofs, or "Movie" movies as I like to call them (Scary Movie, Date Movie, Epic Movie, Not Another Teen Movie, etc). But by not playing it straight with the source material, these movies don't even come close to the entertainment value or absurdity that the remakes made overseas achieve. So the next time you're thinking of remaking a cult classic such as The Hitcher (1986), rather than just giving it a sleek look and appeal that caterers only to a young MTV demographic, think of similar films of the same genre that you could expolit to make it better. Add in some scenes from The Hitch-Hiker (1953) or Race with the Devil (1975) or any other horror films that are set on the open road. Hell, throw in the Biker gang from Werewolves on Wheels (1971), spice it up. Anything would be better than the cinematic excrement that you're currently producing.

Thursday, February 22, 2007

Movie Review: EXORSISTER! Episode 1 of 4



aka Chô-yôma densetsu Uratsuki-dôji: Makai gakuen-hen
Directed by Takao Nakano
Japan; 1994

Grab your hat and warm up the headlamps, ‘cause we’re taking that left turn at Albuquerque straight down to Video Underground! And who better to host our journey through the television starkly than everybody’s favorite nutcases of the Pacific Rim?

The first episode of this tits-n-tentacles squirmfest sets the stage with a TV commercial for the Exorsister and how she can help with all your pesky ectoplasmic emergencies. My print isn’t subtitled, but I can’t help but wondering if the slogan “No job is too big, no fee is too big!” somehow made it’s way into the spot.

A nerdy timid-looking schoolgirl is minding her own business, strolling around campus and talking to trees (which apparently talk back). Abruptly, she’s accosted by two bad girls, of the cigarette and furrowed brow variety, who bully her into an abandoned room, stripping her of lunch money, as well as clothing, and vigorously molest her from stems to sternum. Naturally, our girl can do nothing but moan, writhe, and squeak in helplessness [thank you, God].
Later that night, Miss Timid is up in her room surfing up some Internet black magic-flavored revenge. She feverishly starts muff-buffing herself to seal the digital deal, conjuring a clutch of demons ready to work– an old man in a wheelchair who turns into a giant rubber-suited kaiju demon; a gorilla demon; a bug-headed suit and tie demon; a two–faced demon; a sprightly demoness who looks and acts like Delirium from The Sandman comics; and finally, a mischievously squat demon, also outfitted in rubber with several tentacles that look suspiciously like vacuum hoses!
Suddenly, Schoolgirl finds herself transported to an infernal place, otherwise naked in white panties [drool] and restrained by hoses...er...tentacles which probe her every orifice in squishy detail.

Probing complete, Schoolgirl’s out and finds Bad Girl #1 skaggin’ it up in a local bar. She gives BG1 the diabolique smackdown, including several vaginal stompings for good measure. Walking through the streets drunk on the fog of possession, she picks up a strange man for a long, albeit optically censored, suck an’ fuck session in a hotel, climaxing with one of the most pitiful cumshots anyone’s ever bothered to record.
Back home, Schoolgirl is totally eat up wit’ da evil. Dear old Dad’s in hysterics, knocked to his knees by his little girl who adds a dash of insult with a healthy middle finger salute and an obstinate “Fuck you, very much!” in a most marbled English.
Who you gonna call?
Decked out in leather boots, hat, and skirt, the Exorsister rides to the rescue on her black Kawasaki, a cigarette clenched between the teeth and a badass golden cross, with switchblade knives tucked away at each ornate station, very close at hand. Consulting Raimi’s edition of the Necronimikon, she discusses the situation with Dad, still in hysterics. Stepping in to the bedroom, Exorsister finds Schoolgirl floating in a white dress, barking in a deep voice with lots of reverb. A quick blast from a plastic Uzi filled with Holy water brings the schoolgirl down, and washes the demon inside her right out.

From here we’re treated to an extended sex session between Tentacle demon and Bad Girl #1, resplendent with nylon-ripping, nipple rolling, extreme camel toe and a very noisy blowjob! Then, another demon gets his claws on the much hotter Bad Girl #2 for an even longer screw-baller, where she squeaks herself senseless in many a manner of torrid positions. Afterwards, both Bad Girls get the full-on Vacuum Hose Between the Legs massage package, and eventually are forced to square off for the demons’ amusement wearing the sluttiest threads imaginable.

The episode ends after Exorsister storms in on the demon horde, and takes them out with one boomerang’s throw of her golden cross, ultimately shooting that annoying tentacled hoser right through the brain with a good old fashioned bullet. Kawasaki mounted, she rides off into the night.

Directed by the man who gave us that gory breast-athon, THE KILLER PUSSY, this SOV spectacle was painfully low budget, but fun fun fun, with a few bizarre monkey wrenches occasionally thrown in at random (Leatherface? Is that you?!). Unfortunately, the sex scenes took up a lot of the 60+ minute running time. I say unfortunately, because I would’ve liked to see more of the titular heroine in action. I s’pose editing the episodes together would be a good way to go. That being said, the sex, despite being obscured by digital mosaics is hot and certainly does the trick. If’n you like that sorta thing.
The remaining episodes are cut from the same cloth, but perhaps a rundown of my favorite moments may warrant a reappearance in this hallowed blog.
Any other fans of this series should feel free to do the same!

Review by Scott Wallis!

Wednesday, February 21, 2007

Worldweird Cinema is back on the air!!

Sorry gang, for taking so long to get back "into the zone" here at your favorite blogzine devoted to strange and lovely cult and exploitation cinema from the far flung corners of this precious world of ours. But we (I, Jared) have had a really rough couple of months and have only today gotten back my beloved internet access.
It seem not much has gone on since I've been away, DVD news-wise that is. Except of course for the Anchor Bay Mario Bava stuff, which by now you've probably heard all about.
If you haven't here's the quick lowdown:



BLACK SABBATH/THE THREE FACES OF FEAR
• 16x9-enhanced 1.77:1 transfers (both versions)
• English and Italian versions with English subtitles
• Audio commentary by Lucas
• Mark Damon interview featurette
• International and U.S. trailers
• TV spots
• Poster and stills gallery
• Bava and Boris Karloff bios
• Bava trailers

BLACK SUNDAY/THE MASK OF SATAN
• 16x9-enhanced 1.66:1 transfer
• Original Italian export English dub scored by Roberto Nicolosi
• American International English dub scored by Les Baxter
• English mono with subtitles
• Audio commentary by Lucas
• International and U.S. trailers
• TV spots
• Radio spots
• Bava and Barbara Steele bios
• Bava trailers

THE GIRL WHO KNEW TOO MUCH/EVIL EYE
• 16x9-enhanced 1.66:1 (Italian) and 1.33:1 (English) transfers
• English and Italian versions with English subtitles
• Audio commentary by Lucas
• Remembering the Girl with John Saxon featurette
• International and U.S. trailers
• Poster and still gallery
• Bava trailers

KILL, BABY…KILL!
• 16x9-enhanced 1.85:1 transfer
• English and Italian audio with English subtitles
• International trailer
• TV spots 1-3
• Bava bio
• Bava trailers

KNIVES OF THE AVENGER
• 16x9-enhanced 2.35:1 transfer
• English and Italian audio with English subtitles
• International trailer
• Bava bio
• Bava trailers

Retail prices for all this will be just $49.98.

Sweet. But to be honest we are MUCH more excited about the Jodorowsky box set as well as the upcoming roster of releases from Onar, Severin and of course Mondo Macabro, but we'll pick it up eventually if not right away fer sure. BUT something we'll be drooling to get our greedy paws on is the simultaneous AB release of the a deluxe RABID DOGS dvd, one of our very favorite Bava films.
Here, take a gander at these juicy details:



In addition, the 3rd will see Anchor Bay’s separate disc release of RABID DOGS/KIDNAPPED, presenting the two versions of Bava’s abduction thriller, with the following specs:

RABID DOGS:
• 16x9-enhanced 1.78:1 transfer
• Italian mono with English subtitles
• Audio commentary by Lucas
KIDNAPPED:
• 16x9-enhanced 1.78:1 transfer
• Italian mono with English subtitles
• End of the Road: Making RABID DOGS and KIDNAPPED featurette with producer Alfredo Leone
• Bava bio
• Bava trailers

Retail price for this one will be $19.98.

One of the very best Euro-crime films ever and one of the Maestro's most unusual films. An absolute MUST PURCHASE if you ask us. Which of course, you do, right?

There'll be more stuff in upcoming days/weeks from us. Our good pals/contributers Scott Wallis and the enigmatic Undead Film Critic have new reviews and articles for ya that'll peel your eyeballs if you aren't careful. I personally haven't written anything in weeks but I've recently recieved a batch of extremely obscure Turkish, Indian, Egyptian and Greek films from our dear friend Miltos in Greece which find they're way from their DVDr homes to my eyes and then through my fingers to your unbelieving brains.
And if I get off my ass and do some real work, I have a clutch of research article ideas that are crying out for completion. Give us encouragement though, we need you, dear readers!
But for now, enjoy the fact that we have returned and hopefully will not ever be away again for so long as long as our precious Sun continues to rise each day.
Thanks for your patience.
See ya in the funny papers!

Thursday, January 25, 2007

Movie Review: EL BUQUE MALDITO



aka THE GHOST GALLEON
aka HORROR OF THE ZOMBIES
Directed by Amando de Ossorio
Spain; 1974

Based on my film viewing experience, if you are an attractive woman between 17 and 30 years of age and your in a low budget motion picture made in either Italy or Spain during the 70's, there is an 80% chance you are playing a high fashion model. If your an attractive woman who is older than 30, then you will probably be playing the head of the modeling agency. The Ghost Galleon adds a good deal of credence to my theory as a movie about undead knights running amok on a decrepit ocean vessel, opens with a fashion shoot. I'm guessing that by making your female characters models it allows you to place them in odd and precarious situation in very little clothing, if any. For instance, stranded on a small boat in the middle of the sea with only a thin whisper of a bikini to protect you from the elements.

Amando de Ossorio 3rd entry into the Blind Dead films rarely gets the love or attention that his previous films, Tombs of the Blind Dead & Return of the Evil Dead do. I think mainly because the first half of the film is so utterly weird & preposterous. Of course this is also the reason I find myself so found of the film. 2 models have been hired by a boating tycoon who is about to introduce a new brand new line of motorboats. The models are to take the boat out into open water, act as if they are stranded and wait for passing ships to approach. Once they are picked up and brought back home the news outlets and paparazzi would then instantly be drawn to such a story as two young hot models rescued from certain dehydration and fatigue from a passing vessel. The resulting publicity would then attract more attention to the motorboat they were riding. Sounds ridiculous, but with today's era of wacky inter-net campaigns and Geico commercials it also almost sounds plausible.

Of course once the two ladies find themselves set adrift they find that passing ships are few to come by. While radioing back to home base they encounter a think fog. Drifting deeper into the think soup they come across The Ghost Galleon. A decaying dilapidated ship which comes across as the inspiration for The Black Pearl, the pirate ship in those Johnny Depp films the kids like so much. It really depends on the shot however, as some glimpses of the Galleon our obviously a model boat floating in a sink somewhere in Spain. Once the girls boat lines up with the Galleon an amazing thing happens that I feel has gone mostly unnoticed. In your typical horror situation, once the eye candy finds what is obviously a haven for death and a path toward certain doom, they run right towards it. In The Ghost Galleon however, one of the models (the more attractive one in my opinion played by Blanca Estrada) stays in the motorboat. Something in her tells her, "You know what, uh uh". Granted she does climb aboard the Galleon the next day, but the fact that she didn't "run toward the danger" the moment she came across it, was a welcome surprise. Of course once on board both women meet their fate at the hands of the undead Knights Templar. With the 2 models disappearance, a rag tag group of men and woman then make their way out to the same local where the fog was reported and eventually they too find themselves face to face with the Galleon and her crew.

The best part of any Blind Dead film are those scenes featuring the undead Knights themselves. No background information is given about their origin this time, which is in striking contrast to the previous two Bind Dead films. Both of which offer some what conflicted accounts to the Templar origins. I personally prefer the original where their eyes are peaked out by crows. But having ones eyes burned out before being executed is also a deliciously macabre visual.

The Knights move slow but they always seem to out number their prey. One minute their are 4 approaching, only to turn around and face 20. It's as if every possible crevice or crack in the ships wood could hold one of the undead. This adds to a dark and deeply oppressing atmosphere and some of the most striking visuals in the Blind Dead series. The final scene where several knights walk out of the water onto the shore in constant pursuit of the remaining castaways, is a particularly memorable image. Such a scene is often used in zombie films (ex. Zombie Lake, George A Romero's Land of the Dead) but the Knights in particular stand out as being deader than most. When they rise out of the sea, water cascades from inside their skulls out of their eye sockets & on to the rocks and sand below. The visual effects and costumes for the knights are as impressive today as they must have been when they first took to horse back and galloped across the big screen.

It feels a little rushed here and there and you do you get the feeling that the filmmakers where grasping for a different angle to approach the Knights, but with its weird premise, thick atmosphere & striking visuals, The Ghost Galleon is worth checking out. My hopes are that this series is revised and that next time we find the Knights on the Moon. All we have to do now is figure out how to get some hot models up there.


Review by The Undead Film Critic!

Specs and cover art for long-awaited Jodorowsky DVDs!!!

A Golden Age is upon us. Soon we will live in an era when Alejandro Jodorowsky's extrordinary films EL TOPO and HOLY MOUNTAIN will be available in restored and decked-out-with-extras special edition Digital Video Discs at affordble prices. I almost feel like crying.
From the Fangoria website, an offering of information:



Streeting May 1 will be a boxed set containing 1970's EL TOPO, 1973's THE HOLY MOUNTAIN and 1968's FANDO Y LIS, with TOPO and MOUNTAIN also available separately. Each movie has been digitally restored, with TOPO presented fullscreen, MOUNTAIN in 16x9-enhanced 2.35:1 widescreen and FANDO in 1.66:1 widescreen; the first two have Dolby 5.1 and 2.0 stereo soundtracks, with TOPO and FANDO in Spanish with optional subtitles and MOUNTAIN in English. Extras are as follows:

EL TOPO:
* Audio commentary by Jodorowsky (in Spanish with optional subtitles
* English dub track * Exclusive interview with Jodorowsky * 2006 on-camera interview with Jodorowsky (in English) � Photo gallery/original script excerpts * Original theatrical trailer (with English voiceover)

THE HOLY MOUNTAIN:
* Audio commentary by Jodorowsky (in Spanish with optional subtitles
* Deleted scenes with Jodorowsky commentary (in Spanish with optional subtitles)
* THE TAROT short with director commentary (in Spanish with optional subtitles)
* Restoration process short
* Photo gallery/original script excerpts
* Original theatrical trailer (with English voiceover)
* Restoration credits

FANDO Y LIS
* Audio commentary by Jodorowsky (in Spanish with optional subtitles
* La Constellation Jodorowsky documentary
* French and English stereo tracks

In addition, the boxed set comes with CD soundtracks for EL TOPO and THE HOLY MOUNTAIN, plus a bonus DVD of LA CRAVATE, Jodorowsky's never-before-released first film. This package retails for $49.98; the TOPO and MOUNTAIN discs retail separately for $24.98 each.

Check out the Cetin Inanc fansite!!!

We're about to take an extended break here at Worldweird and so I'm loading up a handful of stories one after the other over the course of this afternoon and evening. After that it might be more than a week before we start up again with fresh content. Please hang-tight, as this year promises to be a banner year for weirdfilms of all sorts, and we will be there to cover it with enthusiasm and style!



You've gotta see this! - a website of major Worldweird Cinema interest: A Myspace fanpage for the director of the all time worldweird classiks DEATH WARRIOR, THE BIGGEST FIST and THE MAN WHO SAVES THE WORLD, the great Cetin Inanc! They've included biographical info, a partial filmography, extrodinarily rare original trailers for amazing films he made with Turkish superstar Cuneyt Arkin and more.
An absolute must-see. Go here, pilgrims.

DORT YANIM CEHENNEM ( THE MUMMY ) THEATRICAL TRAILER

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Tuesday, January 23, 2007

Severin Films continues to take our money.

Here's a rundown of the amazing stuff Eurotik DVD specialists Severin Films has in store for it's devotees:

BLACK EMANUELLE'S BOX



Limited Edition Collection Features A Never-Before-Seen Interview With Cult Director Joe D'Amato & All-New Soundtrack Compilation CD!

The breathtakingly beautiful Laura Gemser stars as the infamous sexual adventuress in these three erotic epics now on DVD for the first time ever in America:

EMANUELLE IN BANGKOK - Emanuelle prowls the steamy underbelly of the Thai city on an odyssey of opium orgies, depraved Republicans and flying ping-pong balls.

SISTER EMANUELLE - Emanuelle renounces her wanton ways and joins a convent for wayward schoolgirls, only to face temptation from some very unholy sins of the flesh.

EMANUELLE AROUND THE WORLD - In director Joe D'Amato's notorious jaw-dropper, Emanuelle uncovers a global conspiracy of enslaved women, kinky Senators and inappropriate uses for exotic pets.

BONUS CD: GETTING DOWN WITH BLACK EMANUELLE - An all-new compilation of remastered soundtrack music by composer Nico Fidenco.

...plus eye-popping deleted scenes, an exclusive featurette and more, all waiting within the succulent confines of BLACK EMANUELLE'S BOX.

“SUPERHUMANLY SEXY... Laura Gemser Is A Honey-Dipped Cup Of Juicy Java Goodness!”
- Mr. Skin


Colour / 1.85:1 / 16x9 / 281 mins / Not Rated / $69.95 / Reg 0 (NTSC) / 3 x DVD 5 + 1 x CD
English / Italian Dolby Digital 2.0 / English Subtitles
UPC 891635001162 / Item SEV1110

Director: Aristide Massaccesi (as Joe D'Amato) + Giuseppe Vari (as Joseph Warren)

Starring:

EMANUELLE IN BANGKOK: Laura Gemser, Gabriele Tinti, Ely Galleani [Elide Galleani], Ivan Rassimov, Venantino Venantini...

SISTER EMANUELLE: Laura Gemser, Monika Zanchi, Gabriele Tinti...

EMANUELLE AROUND THE WORLD: Laura Gemser, Ivan Rassimov, Karin Schubert, Don Powell, George Eastman [Luigi Montefiori]...



Aka:

EMANUELLE IN BANGKOK: Emanuelle nera - orient reportage / Black Emanuelle Goes East

SISTER EMANUELLE: Suor Emanuelle

EMANUELLE AROUND THE WORLD: Emanuelle - perché violenza alle donne? / Emanuelle Versus Violence to Women / The Degradation of Emanuelle / Confessions of Emanuelle



Extras:

Disc 1: EMANUELLE IN BANGKOK

  • Joe D'Amato At Eurofest
  • Theatrical Trailer

    Disc 2: EMANUELLE AROUND THE WORLD

  • Black Emanuelle's Groove - Interview with Composer Nico Fidenco
  • Theatrical Trailer

    Disc 3: SISTER EMANUELLE

  • Deleted Scenes
  • Theatrical Trailer

    Disc 4: GETTING DOWN WITH BLACK EMANUELLE (Bonus CD)

  • Newly Remastered Soundtrack Compilation CD of Music by Nico Fidenco




  • Two new Jess Franco DVDS:
    THE SEXUAL STORY OF O



    Sado-erotic French literary masterpiece The Story Of O is updated, unrestrained and unleashed courtesy of infamous euro-cult master Jess Franco! Odile, a young nymphet played by the luscious Alicia Princípe, submits to more than she bargained for when she is seduced into a sexual game by her shameless neighbors. Torrid afternoon threesomes soon transgress into a haven of degradation when two brutal perverts enter the lurid scene. How far will Odile's carnal curiosity push her before the ultimate climax is fulfilled?

    Daniel Katz (NIGHT OF 1,000 SEXES) co-stars in this scorching tale of sex and sadism that remains one of Franco's most renowned early 80s features. Severin Films is proud to present it now fully restored from original Spanish vault elements, featuring all-new Bonus Materials and presented totally uncut & uncensored for the first time ever in America!


    Colour / 2.35:1 / 16x9 / 92 mins / Not Rated / $ / Reg 0 (NTSC) / DVD 5
    Spanish Dolby Digital Mono / English Subtitles
    UPC 891635001216 / Item SEV1115

    Director: Jess Franco

    Starring: Alicia Principe [Alicia Pedreira], Carmen Carri—n, Daniel Katz, Mamie Kaplan, Mauro Rivera.

    Aka: Historia sexual de O

    Extras:
  • Franco's O - Interview with Director Jess Franco



  • THE INCONFESSIBLE ORGIES OF EMMANUELLE



    This is Emmanuelle as you've never seen her before a unique take on the insatiable sexual adventuress courtesy of Jess Franco! French TV star Muriel Montossé (billed here as Vicky Adams) follows in the uninhibited footsteps of Sylvia Kristel and Laura Gemser as Emmanuelle, exploring carnal fulfillment in the most unlikely places. But after an impromptu live-on-stage lesbian exhibition with a sultry stripper, her friends think she may be out of control. Will she resist the allure of every extreme erotic opportunity that comes her way or can she seduce her partners to submit to THE INCONFESSABLE ORGIES OF EMMANUELLE?

    Known to late night cable connoisseurs as EMMANUELLE EXPOSED and co-starring Carmen Carrión (THE SEXUAL STORY OF O) and Robert Foster (MACUMBA SEXUAL), this lascivious erotic masterpiece is now fully restored from the recently discovered original negative, with all-new Bonus Materials featuring Jess Franco himself, and presented totally uncut & uncensored for the first time ever in America!


    Colour / 2.35:1 / 16x9 / 86 mins / Not Rated / $29.95 / Reg 0 (NTSC) / DVD 5
    English / Spanish Dolby Digital 2.0 / English Subtitles
    UPC 891635001223 / Item SEV1116

    Director: Jess Franco

    Starring: Vicky Adams, Robert Foster, Carmen Carrión, Ida Ralin, Tony Skios.

    Aka: Las orgias inconfesables de Emmanuelle / Emmanuelle Exposed

    And don't forget, on Febuary 27th:
    PERVERSION STORY aka ONE ON TOP OF THE OTHER




    What is the Most Incredible Thing a Woman ever did for $1,000,000?

    AN EXQUISITELY CRAFTED THRILLER... Guaranteed To Keep You On The Edge Of Your Seat! - THE SPINNING IMAGE

    In a controversial career that flayed every envelope of cinematic excess, nothing can prepare you for this stunning thriller from the infamous director of ZOMBIE and THE BEYOND. Jean Sorel (BELLE DE JOUR) stars as an arrogant San Francisco doctor trapped between his sultry mistress (Elsa Martinelli of BLOOD AND ROSES) and an amoral stripper (Marisa Mell of DANGER: DIABOLIK) who bears an uncanny resemblance to his recently deceased and possibly murdered wife. What follows has been called Fulci's first true masterpiece, where sexual obsession, cruel deception and depraved murder all come together in one unforgettable PERVERSION STORY.

    John Ireland and Faith Domergue co-star in this gripping giallo - also known as ONE ON TOP OF THE OTHER - that features eye-popping nudity, provocative locations (including the gas chamber at San Quentin) and a badass jazz score by Riz Ortolani (MONDO CANE, KILL BILL). Severin Films is proud to present PERVERSION STORY in a startling new high definition transfer from the original vault negative thought to be lost for more than 35 years!.

    Colour / 1.85:1 / 16x9 / 103 mins / Not Rated / $29.95 / Reg 0 (NTSC) / DVD 5
    English / Italian Dolby Digital 2.0 / English Subtitles
    UPC 891635001155 / Item SEV1109

    Director: Lucio Fulci

    Starring: Marisa Mell, Jean Sorel, Elsa Martinelli, John Ireland...

    Aka: Una sull'altra / One on Top of the Other / Una historia perversa

    Extras:
    # Rare bonus CD featuring music by Riz Ortolani
    # Theatrical trailer





    Friday, January 19, 2007

    Major Worldweird DVD News!!!!!

    Things at Worldweird HQ are a bit in flux at the moment, but I had to share these two MAJOR news-stories with you.
    First, and at long last, We have the first details concerning the Jodorowsky DVDs. Got this info via the Digital Bits website (no time for links, google it) via the DVD Maniacs forum:

    ABKCO Films and Anchor Bay Entertainment have just announced a pair of titles that we've been waiting for on DVD since Day One of this format... El Topo and The Holy Mountain! No kidding!Anchor Bay will release a special limited edition collector's box set, The Films of Alejandro Jodorowsky, on DVD on 5/1 (SRP $49.98).The set will contain El Topo, The Holy Mountain and Fando Y Lis on DVD, fully restored and remastered from new HD transfers in anamorphic widescreen video, with Dolby Digital 5.1 and 2.0 audio. The box set will also include 2 music CDs containing the soundtracks for El Topo and The Holy Mountain, as well as a DVD of Jodorowsky's never-before-released first film, La Cravate. El Topo and The Holy Mountain will also be available separately (SRP $24.98 each). The El Topo DVD will contain audio commentary by the director, the original theatrical trailer (with English voice-over), a 2006 on-camera interview with the director as well as an exclusive new interview, a photo gallery and original script excerpts. The Holy Mountain DVD will include audio commentary with the director, deleted scenes with commentary, the original theatrical trailer (with English voice-over), the Tarot short with commentary, a restoration process short, restoration credits, a photo gallery and original script excerpts. Fando Y Lis will include audio commentary with the director and the La Constellation Jodorowsky documentary.Subtitles on the discs will be available in English, French, Spanish and Brazilian Portuguese.

    Oh my sweet fucking Odin. I can hardly believe the day is almost here. May 1st. Mark it on your calender.
    The only thing that could possibly match the sweetness of this moment is some news concerning our fav DVD boutique Mondo Macabro's roster of 2007 releases. Well, dig this blog from MM's myspace page:

    Happy 2007 to all our fans!
    We hope that the holidays were good to you and you all got plenty of Mondo Macabro DVDs in your stockings this year. 2006 was a banner year for Mondo as we released some of our finest DVDs yet and received some of our strongest reviews. We're extremely proud of such discs as VIRGINS FROM HELL, DON'T DELIVER US FROM EVIL, THE DEVIL'S SWORD, and THE BOLLYWOOD HORROR COLLECTION VOLUME 1 and the feedback that we've been getting from all of you has been part of what keeps us going. You may have noticed that we haven't announced any new titles since we released SNAKE DANCER back in November. But we haven't been idle. Oh dear me, no. We've been working on our very first feature film production. That's right, a Mondo Macabro movie! If you want to learn more then read about it here.
    As you can imagine, this has kept us pretty busy. But you can expect to see a full slate of Mondo Macabro titles all through 2007 and well into 2008 with some of the most mondo films we've ever released. Here's what you can expect from us starting in spring/summer 2007:


    THE BLOOD ROSE (aka RAVAGED and DEVIL'S MANIAC) – Claude Mulot's erotic horror classic.

    THE WARRIOR – The Barry Prima action classic, finally on DVD and completely uncut!

    QUEEN OF BLACK MAGIC – The Indonesian horror classic, also known as BLACK MAGIC III.

    DAUGHTER OF EVE (a.k.a. SILIP) – Filipino erotic classic now available for the first time on DVD anywhere. Read more about it here.

    THE BOLLYWOOD HORROR COLLECTION VOLUME 2


    There are even more exciting titles in the works, but we're not ready to discuss them just yet. You'll hear about them soon enough, that's for sure!

    Cheers, Your friends at Mondo Macabro

    Very, very coooool.
    We've been a little worried about the state of affairs in cult DVD land, but with all these mouth-watering titles 2007 looks to be a banner year for all things weird and digital.
    See ya soon, worldweird-o-philes!

    Monday, January 15, 2007

    Jodo-Watch!!



    Some info concerning our favorite film-maker/comic-book author/modern mystic Alejandro Jodorowsky, from an interview on the Premiere Magazine (of all places) website.

    On the upcoming DVD (box set?):
    "After almost 25 years of conflict with Allen Klein, we made a friendly arrangement. I went, some months ago, to New York to remaster EL TOPO, arranging the color. I made wonderful work with the daughter of Allen Klein, Robin. The DVD includes three of my best pictures FANDO Y LIS, EL TOPO, and THE HOLY MOUNTAIN, with two hours of bonus features including the first film I made when I was 24 years old, which was lost. The picture was a tale of Thomas Mann, a pantomime called THE TIDE. There are interviews, commentaries."

    On the re-mastering process:
    "They have a new machine [to make] the colors I wanted. At that time [I made the film], the technique was not so perfect. Also, some shots that were dark are clear and shots that were static, I gave them movement. It's perfect now. For the first time in my life I have the picture as I like it. I did this with all three pictures. The first picture was black and white, so it was not a problem, but EL TOPO was a problem because the color was not good. And THE HOLY MOUNTAIN is like a painting."

    On his next film:
    "It's called KING SHOTS. It's a gangster movie. There are a lot of actors who want to play in the picture. Marilyn Manson will play the role of a 300-year-old Pope. Nick Nolte called me and said he saw a picture I did called SANTE SANGRE. He said, "I want to work with you." I said, "How can I pay you." And he said, "That is not important." I want to shoot in Romania and in the desert in Spain where Leone shot his pictures. It's set at a casino in the middle of the desert and all the gangsters come to gamble. In the desert they find the skeleton of a giant man as big as King Kong. I wanted to make a film called ABEL CAIN which was the SON OF EL TOPO but I could not raise the money. Too expensive. You know, I am a poor poet trying to make artistic, individual pictures. I am not a multinational. I think my pictures are some kind of an elixir that can change the mind for the better. I hate pictures where you go in silly and you come out silly, not changed. With my pictures I want to change the way you see the world. That is for me is the meaning of cinema."

    Friday, January 12, 2007

    Movie Review: EN BUYUK YUMRUK



    aka THE BIGGEST FIST
    Directed by Cetin Inanc
    Turkey; 1983

    Cuneyt Arkin is one suave motherfucker.

    There could hardly be a better representation of this inherent suaveness than the 1983 crime flick EN BUYUK YUMRUK, wherein our man Arkin displays devastating levels of both disarming charm and bone-cracking ass-kickery. Directed with a brilliant haphazard verve by Turko-flick vet Cetin Inanc, this little film is as essential an introduction to the wild, wild world of Anatolian Cinema as one could want. It may struggle with its crippling lack of budget, but more than makes up for that with insanity, creativity and the Movie Star God appeal of Worldweird Cinema’s #1 icon Cuneyt Arkin (who also produced and wrote the script; what a renaissance man!)

    I can’t really give you a synopsis of the plot, since I don’t (unfortunately) speak Turkish and my copy bore no English subtitles. And heck, you don’t really need to know what’s going on here. Cuneyt Arkin beats up bad guys. Cuneyt Arkin shoots bad guys. Cuneyt Arkin blows up lots and lots of bad guys. Cuneyt Arkin occasionally makes passionate love to his equally ass-kicking girlfriend. Cuneyt Arkin does what Cuneyt Arkin does.

    Beyond that there are many instances of typical Turkish insanity. Ridiculously evil villains, casual sadism, misogyny by the boatload, child endangerment, and footage stolen from other movies (a common trait of the Arkin/Inanc films of the early 1980s see also DEATH WARRIOR and THE MAN WHO SAVES THE WORLD). For example, when Cuneyt stages his climatic raid on Villain HQ his bullets and bombs seem to find victims in the form of cowboys from a western and Nazis from a WWII film, no doubt both culled from cheap Italian productions. It only adds to the utter surrealism of the whole thing. This is really an amazing movie for those who dig on the magick of Z grade sinema. The Turks really knew how to do it up right, and it doesn’t get any more right that this Cuneyt Arkin star vehicle.

    You must get. You must watch. You must worship.

    Print provided by Shocking Videos.

    Thursday, January 11, 2007

    Worldweird Newsbrief!!

    Howdy pardners!
    We got just a few tidbits from DVD land to pass on, if you haven't already heard about 'em that is.
    Firstly, from the mighty Severin Empire of Eroticism, a limited edition BLACK EMANUELE box set!!!!! Holy Shit, that rules the freakin' roost!
    Details, kiddies:

    This March expect the first volume of Black Emanuelle's Box in a Limited Edition of 4000 Units. This four disc set will contain the uncut version of Joe D'Amato's EMANUELLE IN BANGKOK, the X Rated Version of the outrageous EMANUELLE AROUND THE WORLD, Giuseppe Vari's SISTER EMANUELLE and a newly mastered compilation cd of Nico Fidenco music produced by Claudio Fuiano called IN BED WITH BLACK EMANUELLE. Box comes with six poster art reproduction post cards from around the world. Extras will include interviews with D'Amato and Nico Fidenco, deleted scenes and trailers.

    They already have our money. And our hearts. And our hard-ons.

    Next, we have yet still more Anchor Bay Italo-Horror re-hashes from Blue Underground.
    Namely, these:




    Cool, I guess. But why don't they release something y'know, new?
    Speaking of not releasing something new, here's the details on Shriek Show's new (and hopefully improved) LIZARD IN A WOMAN'S SKIN DVD, from the Fangoria website:

    The disc will include a 103-minute cut of the movie (the longest available anywhere), remastered in 1.85:1 anamorphic widescreen with English 5.1 and mono and Italian mono soundtracks. The special features are:
    * Half-hour interview with Fulci expert Professor Paolo Albiero
    * Featurette on the history of the film�s censorship, with Albiero
    * Original Italian titles
    * Fulci trailer reel
    * Shriek Show trailers

    Retail price is $19.95.
    Out March 13th.



    Lastly, we here at Worldweird have been waiting impatiently, very impatiently, for any news out of Mondo Macabro concerning their 2007 roster of sure-to-be-mind-roasting flix. But all we've heard from them is deafening silence. But we were checking out their Myspace page today and found this possible hint among their "pics":



    Can anyone tell us what movie this is from? Our guess is SNAKE SISTERS, a Filipino film MM have been rumored to be releasing. But that's only a guess. We shall see.
    Gods willing, they will make the official announcement very soon.
    Quite frankly, we're tired of waiting.

    See ya next time, boys and girls!!

    Saturday, January 06, 2007

    A YouTube Tribute to Jean Rollin



    Although it hasn't really been reflected in the posts here (yet!), lately we've been pretty much obsessed with the cinema fantastique of the great French film-maker Jean Rollin. Here is a smattering of trailers and clips of his singular work found on the YouTube for you to peruse. If you haven't yet discovered the odd and mesmerizing world of the "Rollinade", let these vids be your gateway drug. You're warned though, they can be very, very addictive.
    (Another Warning: Clips contain nudity!)

    La Nuit des traquées (1980)


    Lèvres de sang (1975)


    Requiem pour un vampire (1971)

    Friday, January 05, 2007

    Movie Review: SEVENTH CURSE



    aka YUAN ZHEN-XIA YU WEI SI-LI
    Directed by Ngai Kai Lam
    Hong Kong; 1986

    Hong Kong
    horror and fantasy cinema of the early to mid-80s really excels in delivering a kind of pure enjoyment and excitement. It may not have entirely original plots, scores, or ideas, but there's often something surprising to be found even in the midst of a routine exercise in genre; something that could not be said about Hollywood films of the same era. SEVENTH CURSE, based on a series of popular Chinese adventure stories, may take several cues from the first two INDIANA JONES movies, but I guarantee that there are at least a few things that you've never seen before in this film.

    It begins, in perhaps a conscious nod to BRIDE OF FRANKENSTIEN, with a group of high society types sitting and enjoying alcoholic beverages in their evening wear. An old man, presumably the writer of the story we are about to see, is discussing the merits of wine-drinking and story crafting to a bunch of women who are far too young and attractive for one to believe that he could be fucking them, no matter how drunk he gets them. For a second I thought I was watching a Chinese cognac commercial, but then the plot reveals itself as aforementioned old man admits that some of his best stories are based on the real-life adventures of his two friends: Yuan and Wesley (also known as Wisely and Wei). Enter the two tuxedoed men (the latter played by Chow Yun Fat), who with a wink and a nudge take us into a flashback…

    Cut to a tense hostage situation, in which Yuan is sent into a building (the reason seemingly to show us his martial arts skills) while a SWAT team prepares to bombard. Another ostensible reason for the scene is to introduce us to Maggie Cheung's character, Tsai-Hung, whose main purpose in the story is to pop up in a place where she shouldn't be, much to the consternation of Yuan. Later at a party, Tsai-Hung tells Yuan she is following him, the great adventurer, in hopes of getting an interview and some naked pictures for a story.

    Real trouble begins when Yuan returns home from the party and is attacked by a stranger. After smashing the stranger into just about every piece of glass furniture to his name, Yuan finally relents, and it turns out the stranger is not an assassin, but a messenger. His name is Huh Lung, and he comes from Thailand with a warning for Yuan: the blood curse, which Yuan apparently received on one of his previous adventures, will kill him shortly. Furthermore, he should avoid lovemaking, because it will exacerbate the problem. He urges him to return to Thailand. Yuan pooh-poohs the advice and proceeds to sex-up his lady friend. Turns out, Huh Lung wasn't joking: Yuan's veins begin to throb, and eventually a bubble forms on his thigh and pops, spraying blood all over.

    Obviously concerned over having popping veins, Yuan consults his good friend Dr.Wei, who identifies the malady as some form of Thai black magic. Dr.Wei asks Yuan, "Have you been to Thailand recently?" Here the movie makes the audacious move of entering into another extended flashback (remember we're already in one from the beginning, so that means that Yuan & Wei are now telling the old man and sexy ladies about this flashback).

    On an expedition in Thailand, Yuan oversees a beautifully woman named Betsy, wearing what appears to be nothing but a long white t-shirt, bathing in a pond. So overcome by this private wet t-shirt contest, Yuan drops his binoculars and becomes completely enamored with the woman. Later Yuan's friend warns him to stay away from her and her village, but curiosity drives him and a group of friends towards the village where they arrive just in time to witness a crude ceremony. High priest Aquala, Hong Kong's answer to Mola Ram, is selecting victims for a blood sacrifice to "Old Ancestor", and you can guess who is on the chopping block.

    Yuan's attempt to save the woman from sacrifice leads to an awesome kung-fu fight with a skeleton (the aforementioned "Old Ancestor"). The skeleton, for some reason, can also morph into a creature that looks like an H.R.Geiger alien (as in from the movie ALIEN) with wings. Betsy makes it to safety, but unfortunately Yuan and his friend are captured and tied to posts. Aquala spreads magic goo on Yuan's friend which causes his skin to swell and burst with maggots! Aquala then begins to give Yuan his blood curse, each popping vein accompanied by a sound effect that may actually be the sound of a cork popping out of a champagne bottle. Luckily, Yuan is able to escape by focusing light onto the ropes that bind him, burning through them. When he meets up with her again, Betsy thanks Yuan for saving her by taking a knife and cutting a magic item from inside her left breast. She tells him it will cure his blood curse, so he gobbles it up and thus ends the flashback.

    As it turns out, the cure only lasted a year, and if he doesn't return to Thailand for a more permanent cure, Yuan will suffer several more vein bursts over the next 48 hours until he dies. This revelation moves our heroes to Thailand where, accompanied by the relentless Tsai-Hung, they attempt to locate a cure for the blood curse, rescue Betsy (again), and stop Aquala and "Old Ancestor" once and for all. I'll intentionally leave a lot of details out here to give you some incentive to track this movie down, but let's just say that there is a "Little Ghost" who is brought about by a potion made from the blood of 100 children, a booby trapped jungle, a race up a giant statue of Buddha, fighting monks, possession, cow placentas, a rocket launcher, and a climatic battle for the ages. Additional elements borrowed from Indiana Jones include a village where all of the children have gone missing (given a nearby context clue, can you guess where they are?!*) and a boulder chase with a clever substitution for an actual boulder. At 77 minutes long, the movie speeds along from set-up to set-up with a strange mixture of adventure, martial-arts, and horror.

    I realize that this is more of a description than a review, but it really is difficult to translate an experience that is as immediate and visceral as SEVENTH CURSE into words that people would want to read on the internets. As I said before, there is something pure to the mayhem and adventure that is contained within this movie and others like it. It lacks the psychedelic excess of BOXER'S OMEN and the sleaziness of SEEDING OF A GHOST, so I can't recommend it as highly as those, but I still think it's something special. Untainted by Spielbergian aspirations of commercial appeal and critical acceptance as well as freed from the constraints of decency and taste by the Hong Kong Category III rating, films like this relish in the simple joy that is watching characters transverse fantastic sets, fight monsters, and commit superhuman feats of strength and endurance. Narrative logic is traded for excuses to show gore and tits, and this is a good thing. If the movie took itself any more serious it would be a drag, and at the same time, if it was too aggressively stupid it would be as tedious as a Troma movie, or worse, something smug and self-knowing like SLITHER (apologies to fans, I don't think it's a bad movie. I just didn't like it.). Not everything in the movie is played for laughs, and though it will make most people laugh, I hope that others can find the same wide-eyed admiration I find for movies that aren't afraid to be exactly what they are and should be.

    *Answer: The children are being lowered into a giant stone vice where they are crushed for their blood. It is a scene that would be horrifying were it not so absurd.


    Review by the newest member of Team Worldweird Laird Jimenez!


    Sunday, December 31, 2006

    The Worldweird Top 7 of 2006!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Ok, here's my (Jared, your editor-in-chief!) list for the top 7 "Worldweird" DVDs released during the calander year of 2006.
    Let's get this shit out there!

    7) BOXER’S OMEN (Celestial/Image) - One of the wildest films ever, this HK horror head-fuck is one of the most unlikely and welcome DVD releases of the year, and probably my favorite movie unleashed this year. So why isn’t higher? Despite informative and well-written liner notes by Steven Gladwin , this DVD is pretty bare bone’d and could’ve used a few more bells and whistles to send it into orbit. A Cantonese language soundtrack would’ve been nice as well. But it seemingly is fairly unaffected by the somewhat lackluster PAL-to-NTSC video transfers that have marred the previous Celestial/Image SB titles BLACK MAGIC and SUPER INFRA-MAN. The former there I think is also one of the year's more significant DVDs , being a great movie and an important one for understanding an entire strain of Asian Horror. But the picture quality is a little problematic on that one, so a bride’s maid it remains. Get BOXER’S though. It is an entirely awesome and unbelievable spectacle.

    6) STREET LAW (Blue Underground) – Sawing through my eyes unlike any Italo-crime potboiler ever had before, SL is a masterpiece of gritty Roman celluloid madness. Castellari has crafted balls-out slug-fest that batters and surprises at every hook and angle. Franco Nero, DJANGO himself, tops that legendary performance in my mind with his astonishing portrayal of an ordinary man pushed to far. He makes that crap-movie cliché come to vivid existence like almost no actor before or since. Incredible soundtrack too, for those who care about such things (like me). Utterly essential, if you love Italian genre or 70s crime films. The other Castelleri BU DVS BIG RACKET and THE HEROIN BUSTERS are the tops too, but don’t quite leave the bruises that STREET LAW does. There were lots of great Italian pop-thrillers re-born this past year, from both BU and the stellar NO SHAME label. All in all, a fine year for the once lost or ignored cinematic treasures of our Italian friends. Let’s hope it keeps up, eh?

    5) MANSION OF THE LIVING DEAD (Severin) – The biggest surprise of the year for me. I wasn’t expecting much from this one. Interested yes, of course. But I focused most of my pre-release enthusiasm on it’s sister Jess Franco release MACUMBA SEXUAL, which is indeed a bizarre and groovy psycho-sex flick, while only picking up MANSION when I found it used at a local musique shoppe. Imagine my surprise when it emerged from the screen a far more fascinating, odd and haunting film than MACUMBA, in fact it’s more fascinating, odd and haunting than almost any film I saw all year. MANSION builds from its obnoxious, frothy sex comedy beginning to a cheesy-but-uneasy horror movie cliché middle act and on to an utterly mind-rending finale, full of weird, ambient dread and kinky mindgames. Some have slogged this one as a minor, barely entertaining blip in director Jess Franco’s career, but we have to disagree most aggressively. MANSION OF THE LIVING DEAD is one of Franco’s most outré and arrestingly original films. Yeah, deal with it.
    MACUMBA does rule too, however and both DVDs feature typically fantastic interviews with ole Jesus himself as well as his longtime companion and singular filth muse Lina Romay. You need both of these, trust me.

    4) WITCH’S MIRROR (CasaNegra) – Uncanny. Otherworldly. These adjectives come most easily to mind when wanting to describe this Mexican horror oddity. But neither really comes close. A true cinematic poetry arises out of the cheesy hodge-podge of horror movie tropes and stock stories the make up the plot of WITCH’S MIRROR, unlikely as it may seem. It’s a spell-binding experience, a ‘pure’ cinema, full of searing images, which could awaken magick possibilities in the imagination of the viewer if he/she is in the right frame of mind. It’s fun too; those plot mechanics are handled with utter confidence and even perhaps knowing wink here and there. Outstanding cinema and an essential DVD. Close behind this masterpiece is more Latin Gothic weirdness in the form of BRAINIAC and CURSE OF THE CRYING WOMEN. Amazing surrealist fever-dreams dressed as silly b-movie monster mashes. Fucking Christ, so good it almost hurts.

    3) DUST DEVIL (Subversive) - South African director Richard Stanley’s metaphysical serial killer opus is possibly the best single movie I saw all year (that I hadn’t seen before, anyway) and Subversive’s 5-disc (!!!) special edition is topping various “Best Of” lists for a very good reason: it’s one of the most comprehensive DVD releases in the history of the format. Every aspect of the film’s labored history is explored and well as other aspects of Stanley’s career via his startling and original documentaries. It’s an exhaustive and astounding set that every film fan needs to have in his collection. It’s limited; though so, pick it up while you still can!

    2) 3 DEV ADAM (Onar Films) – Check our original review here. It says everything pretty much. But to summarize: Onar’s amazing and unlikely DVD is boon for all cult film fans and for obscure international pop culture awareness. The movie itself is 75 minutes of gonzo comic-book exhilaration and hysterical disbelief. Absolutely essential. As are the earlier KILINK discs we also reviewed here. Be on the lookout for the TURKISH HORROR DOUBLE FEATURE and the TURKISH SUPERMAN DVDs coming up soon enough. They promise to be even better, weirder, more obscure and are all guaranteed to bring a mischievous smile to every weird film fan’s relieved visage.

    1) BOLLYWOOD HORROR COLLECTION VOL. 1 (Mondo Macabro) – The most fun I had in front of the TV screen all year. Absolutely joyous Curry-Gothic blockbusters of the most rare and delectable sort. PURANA MANDIR and BANDH DARWAZA take 50s and 60s Euro-Goth stories and apply them to the wild and wooly homegrown recipes for film madness that the Indians are famous (or infamous to some in the West) for. I don’t think there was a single moment in either film when I wasn’t overwhelmed with sheer good old fashioned movie-watching exhilaration. Mondo Macabro deserves a heapin’ helpin’ of good will for laying this doozy on us. But it was merely the peak in an overall outstanding year of DVD releases from our favorite label. SATAN’S BLOOD was my other fave, an outrageous and surreal Spanish horror that lingered in my mind unlike any other film I saw this year. Bizarre, sexy and totally fucking off-it’s-rocker, SATAN’S is the year’s most essential Eurohorror re-release. Although the Gallic shocker DON’T DELIVER US FROM EVIL comes damn close. It’s a downbeat and subtle yarn that possesses a unique and morbid vision, a true-crime film that flirts with a kind of existential-fantastical quality. MM also gave us two amazing Indonesian efforts this year. THE DEVIL’S SWORD you can read about here. VIRGINS FROM HELL, aside from being a completely nutty blast of celluloid cheesiness boasts the year’s single most entertaining special feature: an entire disc of Indonesian exploitation and fantasy trailers. Fun, fun, fun. I also was extremely pleased that the two titles I was somewhat ambivalent about, LIFESPAN and SNAKE DANCER turned out to be real winners as well. Both are terrific, odd little films with their own weird concerns and methods. Consider all these MM titles to be must-buys discs. If you want your collection to be sufficiently Worldweird you need to pick each one up and absorb them into you subconscious at your earliest convenience. Ah, fuck that, GO AND BUY THEM NOW! What are you waiting for?

    And now, I (Jared, again) am proud to present a series of competing Top 7 lists from esteemed contibuters and friends!Firstly, here are two (!!) lists is the singular Scott Wallis!

    TOP 7 DVD RELEASES 2006:

    BLACK MAGIC ('75)
    The first domestic Shaw Bros. release from CELESTIAL FILMS. They have over 750 Shaw titles in their library, and have been making them available overseas since 2003. It's about time they spread the wealth. Fuck the Weinsteins and their Dragon Dynasty DVD!

    3 DEV ADAM ('73)
    My favorite of the ONAR FILMS releases. A reason to love being alive, and be of wage-earning age!

    THE GLORIOUS LIFE OF SACHIKO HANAI ('05)
    "George W. Bush in a Pink Film?" was the oft-accompanying tag of this low budget bizarre mindfuck overflowing with wall-to-wall nudity and softcore sex. My fave of the New Wave.

    GANJA & HESS ('73)
    Finally! This replaced the existing VHS print, BLOOD COUPLE, which was cut by 30 minutes! All Day Entertainment seems to be picking up steam with two releases this year.

    MARJOE ('72)
    Another much anticipated release in excellent quality! Infamous child evangelist Marjoe Gortner went out of the snake oil racket with a bang in this "how-to" documentary.

    REN & STIMPY: THE LOST EPISODES ('03)
    All six eps John K. made for Spike TV (back when it was still "The New TNN"), three of which were never aired in the original 2003 run. A genius recognized.

    BEST OF MATCH GAME DVD COLLECTION ('73-'75)
    The second best game show ever (Gong Show is #1), this box set contains 30 uncut episodes and some very nice extras. A wonderful tribute!


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    TOP 7 FILM/TV EVENTS 2006

    THE THIRD MOTHER
    Argento is finally completing the trilogy that began 30 yeras ago.

    BARRICADE
    Timo Rose is back with a buzz that has me champing at the bit. As a result, German Splatter gets the well-deserved videohound spotlight.

    UNEARTHED FILMS
    Finally getting their shit together and getting their shit out the door.

    CODE RED DVD
    The website was up for nearly two years before their first release, but the gears are finally turning to crank out their awesome catalog.

    CASA NEGRA
    Mexican horror from the '60s, uncut and pristine. 'Nuff said.

    JOHN WATERS PRESENTS: MOVIES THAT WILL CORRUPT YOU
    13 films hand-picked and introduced by the Pope of Trash, for the PPV network HERE!. Some rare gems and tasty offerings added to my collection for cheap.

    TIM AND ERIC
    Creators of TOM GOES TO THE MAYOR had a hell of a year with new eps of TGTTM, a brand new series to debut in '07, and a two city interactive live show tour, which I was lucky enough to attend, that either confirmed their genius, or verified their mental deterioration.

    That's grippa tight.
    Now feast you eyes on the unrelenting Undead Film Critic's List of Lists! From the chilly area beyond the beyond ...

    07. 3 DEV ADAM - Super Collectible Edition (1973) - Finally! Thanks to Onar Films, one of cult cinema's weirdest & wildest achievements received the tender loving care that it so richly deserved.

    06. GOJIRA - Godzilla Classic Collector's Edition - Presenting both the original 98-minute Japanese horror film & the 79 minute "Raymond Burr" cut, this release was a long time coming. I was particular impressed by the packaging and presentation of the material. An essential addition to any DVD collection.

    05. Severin Films - The Criterion of Smut! God Bless 'em. Bringing to the masses GWENDOLINE AND HER MANY ADVENTURES IN THE LAND OF THE YIK YAK was a steamy introduction to a company that understands the sweaty and sleazy appeal of the more carnal cult gems.

    04. GIRL BOSS GUERILLA / TERRIFYING GIRLS HIGH SHCOOL: LYNCH LAW CLASSROOM - Panik House released two titles from their The Pinky Violence Collection (boxset) as stand alones, so those of you who don't already own the box set can finally bear witness to some of the GREATEST films ever made. If you don't already own the The Pinky Violence Collection (boxset), which was released last year, you owe it to yourself to seek it out. It has to be my favorite box set ever. If it had a little sexual hole on the side of it, I would take it to bed with me every night.

    03. KAMIKAZEE GIRLS (2004) - I fell deeply in love with Kamikaze Girls this year. A kinetic & colorful film filled with Female Punk Rock Scooter gangs, 18th Century French fashion, Cabbage & Embroidery. Entertaining as all hell, Kamikaze Girls is like making out with Japanese Pop Culture. And yes, there is a happy ending.

    02. OLDBOY - 3-Disc Collector's Edition - The second chapter of Park Chan-wook's Revenge Trilogy is a modern masterpiece. And this 3 disc set goes above and beyond in terms of presentation. A think tin case encloses 3 all encompassing discs, a film cell and a copy of the manga of which the film is based.

    01. CasaNegra - A division of Panik House, CasaNegra has found a place for itself by filling a void. Latin cinema simply had not be properly presented in the US on DVD, until now. Treating each title with reverence and respect, CasaNegra has set it self up as THE label to watch in 2007. This year I was especially impressed with their release of BRAINIAC (Barón del terror, El) & THE VAMPIRE COLLECTION - 2-Disc Special Edition.

    Honorable Mention - THE BOLLYWOOD HORROR COLLECTION (Volume 1) / DUST DEVIL - The Final Cut - Limited Collector's Edition / THE EMILIO MIRAGLIA KILLER QUEEN Box Set - Limited Collector's Edition / THE GREAT YOKAI WAR - Double-Disc Special Edition / STREET TRASH - Special Two-Disc Meltdown Edition

    Great!
    And here we have another outstanding list! This one from the gregarious Greg Goodsell!

    The year 2006 saw the release of two of my favorite films on DVD! SINGAPORE SLING and THE DEVIL’S SWORD both joined the digital age at long last – and another wayward film from Thailand shocked, surprised and entertained me.

    1. SINGAPORE SLING (Greece)
    2. THE DEVIL’S SWORD (Indonesia)
    3. THE WAYWARD CLOUD (Thailand)
    4. THE FIFTH CORD (Italy)
    5. COP KILLERS (USA)
    6. SHE MALE and SINS OF RACHEL (USA)

    Be sure to purchase DVD’s from Code Red DVD – THE FOREST and the upcoming SCHOOLGIRLS IN CHAINS and LOVE ME DEADLY! All three feature commentary tracks hosted by yours truly!

    You heard the man! Check out them digs, kids!
    And last but you better believe not least our Hero from Hellas, magik Miltos Kordas! Who of course is a.k.a. CINEHOUND.
    Listen to him, he knows his stuff.

    VAHSETIN ESIRLERI (Turkish gory western, 1971)
    SALDIRGANLAR (Turkish mega-violent hardcore)
    A HITMAN CALLED PAPAKO (Brazilian weird h/c Django western)
    THE LADY OF THE BLACK MOONS (Egyptian erotic horror, 1971)
    WOLVES DON'T EAT MEAT (Egyptian strong sleazy action/crime, 1973)
    VENGEANCE (Hindi "woman's revenge for rape", 80s)
    MAUT (Hindi Horror)

    Infreakingcredible!
    Thanks to all these Kings among Critics for lending us their thought and ops. And thanks to you for checking us out in 2006. And in 2007! Right? Right?
    Happy New Year!
    Worldweird Cinema loves you!!!